How To Tell He’s The One

There’s no magical way to tell the guy you just met or known all your life is the one. You really need to brace yourself because you’re going to kiss a few frogs or more before one turns into your prince charming. Sometimes, you never find him (sadly).

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Your ideal man: it’s not every day that the man of your dreams shows up in real life. It’s common though to convince yourself that the dude who just winked at you across the table and knows all the perfect things to say might be much better than your ideal man. Truth is, you really have to consider whether it’s worth pursuing your feelings or not because you can’t truly know someone unless you give dating a chance. Only make sure it’s clear for both of you that you’re just trying this out to get to know each other better and if it doesn’t work our as expected in the timeframe set then you can both move on to try your luck with other available singles out there.

Chemistry: hormones can trick us into thinking he’s the one just because we feel a certain way when he walks into the room. It can get confusing when the passion is instant and effortlessly reciprocated. If you think back through your past and failed relationships you’ll agree it’s easy sometimes to experience the magic with almost everyone. It’s awesome if the chemistry is there but it shouldn’t be the basis for you to conclude he’s the one. You need to step back, create some time apart from him and decide with a clear head when the chemistry is out of the picture.

Coincidence: some call it fate but it can be mere coincidence. Accidentally encountering the same person in different places, events and noticing you each text each other at about the same time is not really the sign from the ‘universe’ you’ve been waiting for. Sometimes coincidences just happen with nothing special attached to them. It’s hard to accept this when we are caught up in a desperate moment but it sure helps to let your mind guide your heart and emotions in moments of calm rather than peaks of excitement.

Compatibility: “the right person is someone you share certain things in common”, right? Nope. At least, not always. There’s more to a relationship than hobbies and interests. Just because you like your tea lukewarm and are both crazy about aliens doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together. You can have a terrific and long-term relationship with someone you have little in common with. It’s happened before and maybe you could give that other secret admirer a chance without writing him off. Who knows if being with him and exploring his different interests could lead you to the self-discovery you’ve been craving and get you seeing the world in a whole new light.

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Old friendships: thinking you’ve known someone for a long time doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you. People grow and change with time. So much happens to us and we meet and interact with lots of people and events in our lives that constantly take or add something from us. Often times, we don’t reveal who we are entirely especially when dating only to commit to a relationship or marriage and realise we made the worst mistake of our lives. If you believe he’s worth a chance then don’t hesitate to make things serious with him. Some successful couples met and were married in a few weeks or months. Many couples who try waiting for years till they’re sure they know the other person well end up breaking up or pushing for divorce. Also, just because you’ve been friends before and get along well doesn’t mean you will be great as lovers. And who knows? It might work great with a perfect stranger instead.

Everybody loves Chris: the belief that just because your friends, co-workers and family like a particular guy doesn’t mean you should get involved with him. He may be great to them but he may be bad news for you. After all it’s you that would be dating or married to him, not them. It’s wise to seek the thoughts and advice of those around you but make the decision based on your own judgement and not that of others. You may admit that he’s awesome but not for you.

All in all, finding the one is about “finding”. The experience is different for everyone and you probably just have to give someone a chance for you to discover whether or not they are the one. If you never do then you may never know. Every person is like a carefully wrapped present. You can open it to find out what’s inside and if you like what you find then keep it. Or you can choose to never open the gift-box and never know what was inside it. It’s your choice and your life.