So much time and effort goes into any relationship whether you are married, engaged or just dating. It’s never guaranteed to work and we take our chances and hope to give the very best of ourselves. You should not be judged for ending a relationship and your reasons don’t necessarily have to be justifiable. Who knows? You might not even have a reason at all and that’s alright.
Making the decision to walk away or stay can be hard for some and a walk in the park for others depending on personality or circumstances. When you fall in love, it’s rarely about justifiable reasons. Many times it’s purely emotion and chemistry. Sometimes we easily fall in love but more often than not our first reaction is to fight the feelings or deny the attraction. So then if falling in love isn’t based on perfect reason the first time then when that love doesn’t hold anymore, you won’t necessarily need to justify why you must walk away.
Still wondering whether to walk away or stay?
Doubt: if doubt has crept into your relationship for whatever reason then you may have to leave. Doubt makes the promises made uncertain and crushes the faith and trust we once had in ourselves, our partner and the relationship. However, if the cause for doubt is one that can easily be corrected and everything restored to normal or better than normal then you could give yourself and your significant other another chance and stay to fix the cracks.
Toxic: one never knows the other person truly when committing to a relationship and sometimes we don’t know ourselves that deeply to predict our behavior and changes for the future. If you notice your partner’s behavior is toxic to you or that your own behavior is toxic to them then it’s best you walk away as a sign that you genuinely care and to allow the toxic partner ample space and time to get the help or therapy they need. It’s not your job to fix what you didn’t break. Although, if in the future you two have the opportunity to get back, agree on the ground rules and ensure the partner in question is in better health (emotionally, mentally and other ways). Make it clear that should history repeat itself, the relationship will end instantly and commit to respect the fact that you’re both agreeing to put your best foot forward and make it work.
Attraction: we all want to be with someone we are madly in love with and believe they’re head over heels in love with us. Unfortunately, we tend to get desperate and give in to a relationship we don’t feel strong about convincing ourselves we’ll learn to love them as they deserve along the way or that eventually they’ll grow to cherish us as we dreamed. So when later on in the relationship we meet the “love of our life” then we realise our current relationship was a mistake and that we never truly were attracted to our current partner. When this happens, it’s best you walk away as staying would be unfair to the less-attractive partner and make them feel used. Being with someone we’re not genuinely attracted to can fuel jealousy, bitterness, violence, cheating or infidelity.
Cheating: it’s not about the s3x, really. Cheating happens in a million ways, some subtle and others grand. It doesn’t matter how much you think you love or need your current partner. The mere fact that you find yourself thinking about someone else, feeling for someone else, and longing for something that’s missing in your relationship is a sure sign you should let your partner go and end the relationship. It’s not guaranteed your new relationship will work out, you might get your heart broken and that’s alright. Walking away will save you from guilt, your partner will feel abandoned but at least you will have respected them enough to end the relationship without having to cheat on them. Alternatively, you can stay to make it work but both of you will constantly feel inadequate and no matter how long you put up an act, such relationships and marriages end eventually.
Unhappy: almost everyone can relate to the excitement that comes with a new love. You’re promised the world and convinced this is the best decision you ever made. Unfortunately, once the excitement fades, you realise they don’t have time for you, never call, barely return your calls, the passion is nonexistent, they’re not excited to know you better anymore, and many other things that leave you feeling like you were ripped off or that you got less than your bargained for. When this happens it’s better to call things off and move on till you find that person who makes you feel like the king or queen you are. You’re not obliged to stay in a relationship that makes you envy being single just because it’s unsatisfying. However, if you think you can save the relationship then make it clear what you want and how you want it. Ensure the commitment from your partner’s side is practical and that they know the next time you will feel ignored or invisible, there will be no second chances.
One thought on “Should I Walk Away Or Stay?”
Such a valuable article! It’s never an easy situation, but sometimes separation is what’s best for both partner’s and their family. More people need to be having these open discussions about relationships.
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